*This is a collaborative post.


We've all been there. Feeling run down, or tired all the time. Feeling like you've lost your spark. Your power. Yourself. Feeling lost, and not only not knowing how to find yourself again, but you also don’t even know how you lost yourself in the first place.

Maybe you can look back at your life and see when this change started to happen. It may have come with a big life change like a move, a new job, or having a baby. It could have happened so gradually that you didn’t even notice it was happening for a while. It may have happened so fast your head feels like it is spinning.

No matter what circumstances brought you to this place, we've all been in a similar spot at some point. A little lost, a little frightened, and a lot confused about what to do next. Maybe you need help to start feeling like yourself again. Maybe you need help to accomplish something that scares you, or maybe you just need to accept something that has happened and move forward. Take a deep breath. You are not alone. And there are some things you can do to take your power back.



It's a Process

Start by realizing you're on a journey, and this is a process. There's not one simple solution to plugin that will magically transform you. This is not a “bippity, boppity, boo” moment where someone waves a magic wand of self-care and you go from crying in rags to snagging a prince.

It's going to take a much longer time than you may realize and a lot of implementing different strategies to find what works for you. And ultimately, we're never really done taking care of ourselves and finding new ways to grow and dig deeper into our power. So buckle up and get ready to make yourself a priority - not just until you “fix” whatever pitfall you are dealing with right now, but until you learn that you've got to put yourself first.



Don’t Look Back

The second thing to realize as you start on this journey is that you're not trying to get back to who you used to be. Sure, there may be elements of who you used to be that you'd like to rediscover, but ultimately, there's no going back in life.

If you've recently gone through a major life change, an immense loss, or new experience, you can't undo what's happened. Instead, you need to be able to accept that the person you were before is gone and you have the opportunity now to grow into someone new. We don’t lose ourselves when we undergo change, not really. It may feel like that for a while, but the truth is that when we feel like we are lost, that is what challenges us to dig deeper and learn more about ourselves. It allows us to come into being more ourselves than we were before.

So while it may seem like an appropriate time to lament the loss of the person you were, it's really a time to celebrate the possibilities before you. It's okay to mourn the closing of a chapter in your life and a version of yourself, but taking back your power comes when you open up to the future and step forward into your new self.



Be Still

As you start on this journey, you're going to be overwhelmed by all the self-care things to do. If you're like a lot of people, then you may want to make a list and a timeline and a schedule of self-care and transformation, then stick to it in order to receive the needed results. If that's not your first impulse, then congratulations, this is going to be much easier for you!

In order to take back your power and learn more about yourself, you need to learn to be still. This can be tremendously hard if you are coping with a recent trauma. There's the fear that if you're still for too long, then all of your feelings will catch up with you. If you sit still, then the floodgates will open up, you will fall apart, and there will be no way to put that mess back together. This is a lie we tell ourselves.

Sometimes we may have to hit the “dig deep” button and muscle through and compartmentalize our feelings, but doing this forever is not an option. Your body will find a way to let those feelings out, and if you don’t do it on purpose, then it will likely be unhealthy. This is where bad habits like nail-biting, cheek biting, stress headaches or hives, or more serious issues like eating disorders or self-harm come into play. These releases of emotions do not help us process them, so it turns into a cycle.

Learn to sit and be still. This will likely bring a lot of uncomfortable feelings up to the surface, and that's okay. Sometimes letting yourself fall apart is the only way to build something better. Don’t fear your emotions - welcome them, and let yourself feel what you need to feel. If you can learn to be still, you'll often understand what your body and mind need from you next. If you are struggling with being still, trying guided meditation or gentle yoga or getting a professional massage can help you ease into it. This is the way to heal and grow.



Self-Care

Now, I know I talk a lot about self-care, but it really is important! It's more than just taking a bubble bath and expecting your life to be fixed, though. There are many different areas of self-care, and knowing what they are and how they can help you will allow you to pick what you need at the moment to actually work towards your goal of taking your power back instead of just distracting yourself for a while.

Sometimes self-care is taking a moment to step away from responsibilities. It can be taking a bath or calling a friend to talk or going for a walk outside. Doing these simple things to relax can rejuvenate you and help you reset to face new problems.

Sometimes self-care is doing the hard work though. It's finishing that task you've been procrastinating. It's exercising regularly to help your body feel healthy. It's going to therapy and opening up about your issues even though they're hard to talk about. It's looking up how to make oatmeal and other healthy food choices. It's working hard and not giving up even when it seems like it's not working.



The Future

Somedays, you may need to focus on the smaller self-care items like lighting a candle or taking a moment to meditate. Other days you will need to tackle the hard, scary things that seem impossible. The point is that you have to keep moving forward.

As you keep working hard, the change will come. You may think it isn’t working. You may think that all your hard work is going to waste. If you stick with it and keep moving forward, you'll have a breakthrough. Maybe it'll be a big moment when you realize you're becoming who you want to be. Most likely, it will happen gradually. One day you'll be going about your life and then will stop and realize you feel strong again. That you feel happy again. That you feel powerful again. You may not even be able to remember exactly when that change happened; you'll only know that it did.